So, it has been a very long time since I have last written.
Some things have changed recently. First, I just graduated from college with a degree in education from HBU, which leads me to the second thing, because I am now no longer in college nor school, I need a job, etc. Which in fact means, my chapter in college has closed and now I must begin a new chapter in life.
I do not yet know what this new chapter in life will entail. But, I do know that teaching will be apart of this new chapter. I hope to get a job with a private school I have applied to, but we shall see. I plan to do part - time work as my health has somewhat restricted my ability to be a full - time teacher right now. But I pray that God uses me through this part - time job.
I have also, decided to inform you all that I am working on a book series that will hopefully consist of three books. I tell people the books are my perspective of the World, but put into a fantasy realm where judgement, betrayal, sacrifice, death, redemption, and justice resides. It will not be a series for young adults, since the story is rough, hard, heartbreaking, a whirlwind of overwhelming emotions, dangers, and yes, in the end, light that conquers all. So many issues are addressed in the series, more like the journeys of sinful man. What destroys man. What man will sacrifice to gain for his own good. What man will do to be the best. The Destruction of Man kind.
And.
Yet. . . . .
Light can shine through this darkness and conquer all. It can be the means to ending the destruction of man's sinful, greedy, lustful, black nature to gain all for himself.
That Light. That Shine in the darkness. That flicker of a candle. That loving glow.
It's God's Love. His Peace. His Mercy. His LIGHT that shines through us. His FORGIVENESS that takes away our darkness and gives us the light. His undying, unwavering, unbending, forever binding LOVE that allowed Him to die upon that Cross to bring that light into us and to save us from ourselves.
His.
SACRIFICE.
Though we are dirty, HE washes us clean. Though we are fallen, He makes us stand. Though we are broken, He mends us. Though we sin, HE. HAS. FORGIVEN.
What an incredible. Amazing Love that God has for us. To take all of the heartbreak, the anger, the hate, the tears, the fear, the lose, the lonely, the crushed, the broken, the torn, and to mend it. To take it away from us and take it upon Himself. To bear our weighty sins our weighty burdens. WOW. God is so amazing.
It is very humbling to realize that God sacrificed himself for us. And we think we have the right to hate another, when we are just as sinful and just as broken as the person next to us? What gives us the right?
Nothing. NOTHING. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Gives us the right. And we still do it. To have such a merciful Father to forgive all of that. It is so amazing, incredible, and humbling.
So, even though that was slightly rambling, it was by no means off track. In many ways what I just wrote will be in my books. It describes the sacrifices that will occur, but joy that will come from this heartache.
Needless to say, I know this book series is part of my chapter in life. I am supposed to write them and get them published. I am so excited to see what the Lord has planned for me in this coming chapter. Excited and fearful of what is to come, but ready.
I have finally come to a point in my life where I am finding contentment in my position and where God has me right now. I read a chapter the other day from the book, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. It was really conscious hitting and made me realize that in life, there is a season for everything. And right now, Singleness is my season in life that God has placed me. To be content and to be willing to open up and listen to what the Lord has prepared for me during this time and where He desires to lead me.
Some significant and thought provoking quotes from chapter 4, "Content with my Role:"
"When does a woman become an adult? Perhaps it's when she stops comparing her life to other women's. When she stops waiting for "Mr. Right." When she stops wishing she'd married someone else or that her children were at an easier stage.
We grow up when we see our life and our role from God's perspective; when we thank God for the role He has assigned us and begin to see our cup as a gift instead of a cross; when each morning we ask, "God, how can I glorify You today in my given role!" pg. 56.
"Faithfulness is God's standard! Will you trust Him that your assigned cup and portion come from His loving hand? Will choose to use your role as a place to serve others?"
"Teach me to cease striving and know that You are GOD."
I end on that note. I pray this posting was thought provoking and helped you understand the undying Grace, Love, and Mercy of Jesus is often what we need the most to make it through a day. I pray He places you in a spot so that you can give to or be affected by those around you.
~ To HIM be the Glory
Monday, May 27, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Lots of things on my Mind ... health, school, future ramblings
So, to begin with, I just read another C.S. Lewis quote on my app...
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." - really hits home and expresses why many of us believe what we believe, that Jesus is Alive, real.
Now, on to other things that have been on my mind lately....
So, in the past semester my healthy has seemed to go further down hill than it already can be at times. And in the last three weeks to get really bad....
For a while I have had such a bad attitude about my health. Down to the point of being like, "really God? Why do I keep getting sick/developing more problems/etc." I've had a bad attitude all through Christmas break especially, since my Crohns has decided to act up even more and has begun to limit what I can eat. Well, as many of you know, I already have so much I am unable to eat, but now.... it really has become ridiculous!
Anyway.... I am getting off track, and becoming ungrateful, again! Which reminds me, I was reading my devotional book this morning that my Sister gave me for Christmas, and it talked about being grateful and, even though, we may not know why God has placed us where we are and what we are going through there is a reason. A plan. So, my whole grumbling for months on end... not a good idea and really, what good did it do me anyway? So, even though I am quite upset over my growing health problems, I have decided to stuff it, so to speak, and move on.
I mine as well get my concern about school off my chest as well. Since I am on the subject of grumbling and being anxious/worried about things. So, yes, I am a Senior in College and have an overwhelming amount of Senioritus. But, I am so totally not ready for Student Teaching this semester. I don't want to start back into school and teach. It's sad, but I think I've just about hit my limit of studying, etc. I would like to just find a job that I could do part time and write my book the rest of the time. But, of course life does not always happen the way you wish it to happen. So, yes, I will be finishing up school and graduating in May. I will pray daily that I can make it and that I will not just grudgingly do teaching and school, but do it with a joyful heart, mind, and soul.
Lastly, my overwhelming anxiety and worry for the future has also made me very moody of late. I know I need to decide what to do, but am unsure what to do after I graduate. I feel like every time that I pray and ask God what He is calling me to do after graduation, He keeps telling me to wait. I have no idea what I am waiting for, but I will wait, but I cannot help feeling slightly anxious over the fact that I do not know what my future may hold after college. I know that I am pretty sure that writing my series of books is part of that future, but I am unsure what else will be part of it. But I will continue to wait and hear from the Lord.
So, here is to moving on and being excepting of where I am in life, no matter if it be in healthy, school, or about my future. Yes, another step down my road of contentment, another lesson learned, and another part added to the chapter of being a college student. What will be in the next chapter of life? No one knows but God, but I will trust Him wholly on this and wait for His guidance. Soon one chapter will end, while another chapter begins.
I end with these words spoken from Psalm 27:14, "Wait for the Lord; be Strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
Blessings to all,
~M
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." - really hits home and expresses why many of us believe what we believe, that Jesus is Alive, real.
Now, on to other things that have been on my mind lately....
So, in the past semester my healthy has seemed to go further down hill than it already can be at times. And in the last three weeks to get really bad....
For a while I have had such a bad attitude about my health. Down to the point of being like, "really God? Why do I keep getting sick/developing more problems/etc." I've had a bad attitude all through Christmas break especially, since my Crohns has decided to act up even more and has begun to limit what I can eat. Well, as many of you know, I already have so much I am unable to eat, but now.... it really has become ridiculous!
Anyway.... I am getting off track, and becoming ungrateful, again! Which reminds me, I was reading my devotional book this morning that my Sister gave me for Christmas, and it talked about being grateful and, even though, we may not know why God has placed us where we are and what we are going through there is a reason. A plan. So, my whole grumbling for months on end... not a good idea and really, what good did it do me anyway? So, even though I am quite upset over my growing health problems, I have decided to stuff it, so to speak, and move on.
I mine as well get my concern about school off my chest as well. Since I am on the subject of grumbling and being anxious/worried about things. So, yes, I am a Senior in College and have an overwhelming amount of Senioritus. But, I am so totally not ready for Student Teaching this semester. I don't want to start back into school and teach. It's sad, but I think I've just about hit my limit of studying, etc. I would like to just find a job that I could do part time and write my book the rest of the time. But, of course life does not always happen the way you wish it to happen. So, yes, I will be finishing up school and graduating in May. I will pray daily that I can make it and that I will not just grudgingly do teaching and school, but do it with a joyful heart, mind, and soul.
Lastly, my overwhelming anxiety and worry for the future has also made me very moody of late. I know I need to decide what to do, but am unsure what to do after I graduate. I feel like every time that I pray and ask God what He is calling me to do after graduation, He keeps telling me to wait. I have no idea what I am waiting for, but I will wait, but I cannot help feeling slightly anxious over the fact that I do not know what my future may hold after college. I know that I am pretty sure that writing my series of books is part of that future, but I am unsure what else will be part of it. But I will continue to wait and hear from the Lord.
So, here is to moving on and being excepting of where I am in life, no matter if it be in healthy, school, or about my future. Yes, another step down my road of contentment, another lesson learned, and another part added to the chapter of being a college student. What will be in the next chapter of life? No one knows but God, but I will trust Him wholly on this and wait for His guidance. Soon one chapter will end, while another chapter begins.
I end with these words spoken from Psalm 27:14, "Wait for the Lord; be Strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
Blessings to all,
~M
Monday, December 31, 2012
C.S. Lewis
Just a short something today. I downloaded this app on my iPhone called "C.S. Lewis quotes." It is a pretty cool quote app, but one quote popped up on it today that I felt was very inspiring and thought provoking.
It follows:
"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."
Perhaps this is encouraging or inspiring to you too, but it made me think about the quest that I have decided to partake of and how so often, little things of this world can end up pulling me off the right road for a short while before I wake up and realize that I left the path for such a silly, petty desire of the world.
Perhaps someday I will learn. Perhaps someday I will realize that the things of this world really do not hold any value to the road and eternal path that God has placed me on.
This, among many other things, will be placed on my list of goals I hope to further progress on or achieve for the new year.
I leave you now, a humble servant of our Lord's.
May you all have a very Happy New Year!
Blessings,
~M
It follows:
"We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive."
Perhaps this is encouraging or inspiring to you too, but it made me think about the quest that I have decided to partake of and how so often, little things of this world can end up pulling me off the right road for a short while before I wake up and realize that I left the path for such a silly, petty desire of the world.
Perhaps someday I will learn. Perhaps someday I will realize that the things of this world really do not hold any value to the road and eternal path that God has placed me on.
This, among many other things, will be placed on my list of goals I hope to further progress on or achieve for the new year.
I leave you now, a humble servant of our Lord's.
May you all have a very Happy New Year!
Blessings,
~M
Monday, December 17, 2012
Haven't Written in a While . . . God Redirecting Me into Contentment
So, I have not written in forever, and I would love to get back into it. I started reading a book right before school ended called "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow. I love this book, and it was definitely something that I needed to read. I have been very anxious of heart as of late about the future and what I need to do after College, etc. I am anxious about what I need to do: should I be a teacher, should I nanny, should I just take time off and write my book ... What should I do??
I go through times of complete doubt, worry about it all, stress over family expectations and expectations I have put on myself. So much to think about.
But, really? what is the need? Why do I worry so much? Shouldn't I just completely and wholly trust in the Lord and leave it all up to Him? Why do I worry so much about it when He has already told me to wait for Him?
To wait for what He has planned for me after college. To not wait for Him to tell me. To not worry about what will happen next. To live in the now and not in the future or in the past.
So hard to do it rather than worry about everything, you know?
Well.... I am off to trying to begin a worry free life filled with Contentment in where the Lord has placed me. I know the road will be rough, giant hills to be climbed, and giants will be battled, but I hope that in the end, I will succeed in trusting wholly in the Lord and bury the worry.
I leave you now with some of my favorite sections, so far, from Linda Dillow:
Prescription for contentment:
1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather
2. Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else
3. Never compare your lot with another's
4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
5. Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that [tomorrow] is God's, not ours
The Secret to Contentment:
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4: 11 - 13
"Contentment is accepting God's sovereign control over all of life's circumstances."
"If we make the choice to pray instead of worry, we will personally experience God's peace. What a promise! In a world of chaos, problems, heartache, and anxiety, all of us need peace."
Help to get rid of worry:
"When anxieties multiply within me, my mind goes absolutely crazy with 'what ifs.' My heart, the cradle of my emotions, rocks wildly back and forth. God's peace is the exact prescription needed for my anxiety - ridden heart and mind."
Write down all you can think of that God has blessed you with or the accomplishments that He has given you in your life, etc.
Oh and a very convicting "We become what we think. Our thought life - not our circumstances - determines whether we are content. Our thought life - not our friends, husband, children, job, or anything else - determines our contentment!" - (I never thought about what often creates the negativity as well)
Ending comment for now....
1. Choosing to give our anxieties to God
2. Choosing to pray specifically
3. Choosing to be thankful
4. Choosing to dwell on the positive
Blessings to All!
~ Mady
I go through times of complete doubt, worry about it all, stress over family expectations and expectations I have put on myself. So much to think about.
But, really? what is the need? Why do I worry so much? Shouldn't I just completely and wholly trust in the Lord and leave it all up to Him? Why do I worry so much about it when He has already told me to wait for Him?
To wait for what He has planned for me after college. To not wait for Him to tell me. To not worry about what will happen next. To live in the now and not in the future or in the past.
So hard to do it rather than worry about everything, you know?
Well.... I am off to trying to begin a worry free life filled with Contentment in where the Lord has placed me. I know the road will be rough, giant hills to be climbed, and giants will be battled, but I hope that in the end, I will succeed in trusting wholly in the Lord and bury the worry.
I leave you now with some of my favorite sections, so far, from Linda Dillow:
Prescription for contentment:
1. Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather
2. Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else
3. Never compare your lot with another's
4. Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
5. Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that [tomorrow] is God's, not ours
The Secret to Contentment:
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4: 11 - 13
"Contentment is accepting God's sovereign control over all of life's circumstances."
"If we make the choice to pray instead of worry, we will personally experience God's peace. What a promise! In a world of chaos, problems, heartache, and anxiety, all of us need peace."
Help to get rid of worry:
"When anxieties multiply within me, my mind goes absolutely crazy with 'what ifs.' My heart, the cradle of my emotions, rocks wildly back and forth. God's peace is the exact prescription needed for my anxiety - ridden heart and mind."
Write down all you can think of that God has blessed you with or the accomplishments that He has given you in your life, etc.
Oh and a very convicting "We become what we think. Our thought life - not our circumstances - determines whether we are content. Our thought life - not our friends, husband, children, job, or anything else - determines our contentment!" - (I never thought about what often creates the negativity as well)
Ending comment for now....
1. Choosing to give our anxieties to God
2. Choosing to pray specifically
3. Choosing to be thankful
4. Choosing to dwell on the positive
Blessings to All!
~ Mady
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Years Past, Memories Fade, But Life Goes On: The Sentimental Memories of a Youngest Child
Today was an amazing day of activity, celebrations of new life, and moving to new places. We celebrated my soon - to - be - born nephew during my sister - in - law's baby shower, and then we moved her and my brother into their new apartment. It was a good day; a joyous day, but.... it made me realize how much life has changed in the past 6 years. How much we have grown, how times have flied, how I am going to be an Aunt 5 times over, how both siblings are married and now having kids, how life has changed for the better. It is all good, but it still makes me sad.
I have discovered over the more recent years that I have an aversion to change. It often seems like I get settled into something new, then life tips or turns upside down and I have to scramble to get out of the way or keep up with the rushing away of life. Sometimes I am the observer of family members' lives changing, but sometimes I am the one changing. I know change is good, and believe me, the change has been good for me, but sometimes I just want to scream out for everything to stop changing so quickly. For time to stop, for time to rewind, to go back in time and to slow things down. I wish we weren't growing up so fast. I wish life could go by more slowly, that the changes were more gradual and not so sudden.
I want to go back to the times when it was the three of us kids climbing trees, playing tent, making up mysteries, playing "pet shop," running around, and enjoying the joys of childhood. I want to revisit those happy times. I want to slowly walk the path of memories; to slowly witness my sister graduating from high school, to slowly see her go through college and then graduate. To see her date, get engaged, and married in slow mode, to actually enjoy her getting married. To watching my brother grow up and be in college and graduate. To watch him make decisions, to see him decide to be in the Navy Seals, to watch him learn that God has better plans for him, to see him fall head - over - heals in love with his best friend's sister. To see my brother get married. To revisit the births of my nephews and niece (yes, even the hard ones), to slowly walk through those memories. To experience the joys of those memories.
But time does not slow down for such a person as me. Time still moves on; people grow up, get married, have children, and move on. I've witnessed it. Change is good, but I still wish life could pass slowly. Perhaps I will get used to the sudden changes; perhaps I will grow out of my aversion to change. Perhaps.... but wishing and saying perhaps will never slow down the hands of time. Time cannot be stopped; it must move on.
But, a part of me will always hold on to those priceless memories (perhaps to be written down in later years). I will never forget those times, especially the childhood memories. :) Perhaps one day I will grow up too, perhaps, perhaps... Only the rushing away of time will tell.
The only thing I know that will never change, because He is constant and reliable and ALWAYS there, is Jesus. I pray I can cling to Him in these times of change. I know He can make those times not as hard to watch and pass by. I know He will be there in the good and bad changes. I know He knows just what my journey through life will be like, what paths I will take, what I will do.
One day I may be exactly where my siblings are. I pray some day that will be so, but for now, I am content to be the only unmarried one left in my family. I am content to enjoy the time I have with siblings gone. I am content to share my time with my family. I am content to allow life to flow slowly. I am content in get used to the change. I am content in the path the Lord has set before me.
Blessings,
Your Sentimental Hart
I have discovered over the more recent years that I have an aversion to change. It often seems like I get settled into something new, then life tips or turns upside down and I have to scramble to get out of the way or keep up with the rushing away of life. Sometimes I am the observer of family members' lives changing, but sometimes I am the one changing. I know change is good, and believe me, the change has been good for me, but sometimes I just want to scream out for everything to stop changing so quickly. For time to stop, for time to rewind, to go back in time and to slow things down. I wish we weren't growing up so fast. I wish life could go by more slowly, that the changes were more gradual and not so sudden.
I want to go back to the times when it was the three of us kids climbing trees, playing tent, making up mysteries, playing "pet shop," running around, and enjoying the joys of childhood. I want to revisit those happy times. I want to slowly walk the path of memories; to slowly witness my sister graduating from high school, to slowly see her go through college and then graduate. To see her date, get engaged, and married in slow mode, to actually enjoy her getting married. To watching my brother grow up and be in college and graduate. To watch him make decisions, to see him decide to be in the Navy Seals, to watch him learn that God has better plans for him, to see him fall head - over - heals in love with his best friend's sister. To see my brother get married. To revisit the births of my nephews and niece (yes, even the hard ones), to slowly walk through those memories. To experience the joys of those memories.
But time does not slow down for such a person as me. Time still moves on; people grow up, get married, have children, and move on. I've witnessed it. Change is good, but I still wish life could pass slowly. Perhaps I will get used to the sudden changes; perhaps I will grow out of my aversion to change. Perhaps.... but wishing and saying perhaps will never slow down the hands of time. Time cannot be stopped; it must move on.
But, a part of me will always hold on to those priceless memories (perhaps to be written down in later years). I will never forget those times, especially the childhood memories. :) Perhaps one day I will grow up too, perhaps, perhaps... Only the rushing away of time will tell.
The only thing I know that will never change, because He is constant and reliable and ALWAYS there, is Jesus. I pray I can cling to Him in these times of change. I know He can make those times not as hard to watch and pass by. I know He will be there in the good and bad changes. I know He knows just what my journey through life will be like, what paths I will take, what I will do.
One day I may be exactly where my siblings are. I pray some day that will be so, but for now, I am content to be the only unmarried one left in my family. I am content to enjoy the time I have with siblings gone. I am content to share my time with my family. I am content to allow life to flow slowly. I am content in get used to the change. I am content in the path the Lord has set before me.
Blessings,
Your Sentimental Hart
Thursday, August 9, 2012
How to Politely Turn Someone Down at the Gas Pump. ;)
Ok, hilarious story to tell. Something that happened to me, seriously, no more than 15 minutes ago when I stopped to get gas.
So, I'm driving home from baby-sitting and forgot I needed to stop to get gas, because, as usually, I am nearly empty. :/ I of course, conveniently forgot that I had to get gas till I was in the car. Unfortunately, I am not dressed to go out, I still have my swim suit on from swimming with the kids, and the other covering I have is a very short swim cover up.
Oh Well, I think, no Big deal. I'll just get out long enough to get the pump into my gas tank then get back in my car.
Well, as we all known, situations like these don't always end up the way we wish....
I arrive at the gas station, get out of the car, and begin pushing the required buttons on the gas pump. I am almost done with these procedures when a green car pulls up to the pump on the other side of my gas pump. I quickly put the gas pump into my car and walk around to get back into the driver's door.
Unfortunately, the two guys in the green car have already gotten out, and the passenger approaches me.
For me, because I have heard such terrifying stories of people walking up to you trying to sell you perfume that can be detrimental to you, I freak out a little. I want to quickly climb back in the car and lock the doors and ignore this dude. But, I guess you could say fortunately for him, I turn around from my open door and look directly at him.
Him: "I just want to ask you one question."
Me: "Ok."
Him: "Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Have you ever considered being one?"
Me: *I laugh* "I lot of people have told me that, and no, I don't want to be a model."
Him: "Oh! Well, I'm a rap singer and you would be really good in one of my music videos! You have such long legs and pretty long hair."
Me: *Slightly stund and embarrassed* "Well... thank you, but I'm good. :)"
Him: "Are you married or dating or anything?"
Me: *What the heck!! He did not just ask me that!* "No. I'm in college"
Him: "Oh! Me too! Yah I go to ------. (*I personally have no idea what school he said....*) Where do you go?"
Me: "I go to HBU."
Him: "That's in Sharpstown, right?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "I used to play sports over there. Do you play sports?"
Me: "No. I'm too busy with all my schoolwork to be in a sport. I used to swim and dance in High school, but don't anymore"
Him: "Well, you look really fit and pretty."
Me: "Thank you. :)"
By this point in the conversation, I have closed the door and locked it and have moved to the gas pump to finish my transaction. I am about to print my receipt when he slightly shocks me with the next question:
Him: "Can I have your phone number so I can call you sometime to check up on you or something just in case you wanna model for my music video?"
Me: *What??? Really? What kind of idiot does he think I am that I would give my number away like that?* "Um, no. I don't give my number away."
Him: "Oh, well, I can give you mine. :D"
Now, I move to my driver door and smile:
Me: "No. I'm good. Thank you though."
Him: "Oh. What's your name?"
Me: *Yes, I lied. I am not telling a complete stranger my real name!!* "Um, Annie. :)"
Him: "Annie? I'm -----. Good to meet you. :D"
Me: *I smile slightly* "Nice to meet you too. You have a good day."
Him: "ok. you too."
I climb in and close the door, turn the car on, and pull out. It was quite an education, but I learned how to politely turn down a complete stranger.... But what a bazaar situation!!
So, yes. Here is my story of the day!! lol. I hope it made you at least smile! :)
Have a good day. And I promise to try to write something more worthy of reading than this story before school starts.
Have a Blessed Day!
So, I'm driving home from baby-sitting and forgot I needed to stop to get gas, because, as usually, I am nearly empty. :/ I of course, conveniently forgot that I had to get gas till I was in the car. Unfortunately, I am not dressed to go out, I still have my swim suit on from swimming with the kids, and the other covering I have is a very short swim cover up.
Oh Well, I think, no Big deal. I'll just get out long enough to get the pump into my gas tank then get back in my car.
Well, as we all known, situations like these don't always end up the way we wish....
I arrive at the gas station, get out of the car, and begin pushing the required buttons on the gas pump. I am almost done with these procedures when a green car pulls up to the pump on the other side of my gas pump. I quickly put the gas pump into my car and walk around to get back into the driver's door.
Unfortunately, the two guys in the green car have already gotten out, and the passenger approaches me.
For me, because I have heard such terrifying stories of people walking up to you trying to sell you perfume that can be detrimental to you, I freak out a little. I want to quickly climb back in the car and lock the doors and ignore this dude. But, I guess you could say fortunately for him, I turn around from my open door and look directly at him.
Him: "I just want to ask you one question."
Me: "Ok."
Him: "Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Have you ever considered being one?"
Me: *I laugh* "I lot of people have told me that, and no, I don't want to be a model."
Him: "Oh! Well, I'm a rap singer and you would be really good in one of my music videos! You have such long legs and pretty long hair."
Me: *Slightly stund and embarrassed* "Well... thank you, but I'm good. :)"
Him: "Are you married or dating or anything?"
Me: *What the heck!! He did not just ask me that!* "No. I'm in college"
Him: "Oh! Me too! Yah I go to ------. (*I personally have no idea what school he said....*) Where do you go?"
Me: "I go to HBU."
Him: "That's in Sharpstown, right?"
Me: "Yes."
Him: "I used to play sports over there. Do you play sports?"
Me: "No. I'm too busy with all my schoolwork to be in a sport. I used to swim and dance in High school, but don't anymore"
Him: "Well, you look really fit and pretty."
Me: "Thank you. :)"
By this point in the conversation, I have closed the door and locked it and have moved to the gas pump to finish my transaction. I am about to print my receipt when he slightly shocks me with the next question:
Him: "Can I have your phone number so I can call you sometime to check up on you or something just in case you wanna model for my music video?"
Me: *What??? Really? What kind of idiot does he think I am that I would give my number away like that?* "Um, no. I don't give my number away."
Him: "Oh, well, I can give you mine. :D"
Now, I move to my driver door and smile:
Me: "No. I'm good. Thank you though."
Him: "Oh. What's your name?"
Me: *Yes, I lied. I am not telling a complete stranger my real name!!* "Um, Annie. :)"
Him: "Annie? I'm -----. Good to meet you. :D"
Me: *I smile slightly* "Nice to meet you too. You have a good day."
Him: "ok. you too."
I climb in and close the door, turn the car on, and pull out. It was quite an education, but I learned how to politely turn down a complete stranger.... But what a bazaar situation!!
So, yes. Here is my story of the day!! lol. I hope it made you at least smile! :)
Have a good day. And I promise to try to write something more worthy of reading than this story before school starts.
Have a Blessed Day!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Journal Entry - Day 7 - Bogota, Colombia
So, Friday was the last day that we were going to schools, etc. It was so very hard, especially with what we saw and did on our final day. I will admit, since you will read about it later in this post, I did cry at the end of the day and would have cried the next, but was too exhausted to even cry.
Warning: This post is probably the hardest to write and thus it may be the hardest to read.
Journal Entry:
July 6, 2012
"Today was the last day of missions! I was and still am so sad. I wish we could stay longer and work with the children. I want to come here and work with the children, to teach them Jesus and English, to learn there language, to love the children there, to show them how much God loves them. To be God's hands and His feet. A song I thought of today has the refrains, "break my heart, Lord, for what breaks Yours." That is what I felt like God was doing today - showing me how He feels about their orphans and protected girls. It is heart breaking, heart crushing, and pulls your heart out while tearing it in half. My heart was definitely ripped out and left in Colombia in so many ways. Some ways may be not as obvious as others or will not be revealed till later, but my heart is no longer here in Texas where my WHOLE family is, but in Colombia. So many emotions flood me throughout the day from remorse to joy to ecstasy to sadness to longing to heart break to I WANT TO STAY IN COLOMBIA!!!!
Today we left early as usual, we had a long drive again and finally arrived at the after school program that we visited on Tuesday. We stopped there for just a little bit to pick up some people, then we piled back into the bus again. We were told we were visiting the Bronches, the worst part of town. It was littered with trash, had a whole block where the drug lords could sell their drugs, and at least four blocks where prostitutes did business. We drove down the street at 11 am and they were already out there selling themselves. It was sooo sad! :( It was very hard to see and hard to realize how fallen this part of town was. It was rank with despair and anguish.
We then went back and split into two groups again and went on home visits. My group ended up going to a home of one of the girls who used to be in the girl protection home and now works there! Well, her mom lives up by the school we visited on Thursday. Her house is just put together by brick and mud, it looked like. There was no furniture in all the rooms, but one, and even in that room, there was hardly anything. The house smelled awful, but she lived there and had been living there for five years. Her story was sooo hard to hear, and even some of it was not even translated to us, because it was very hard. She had no electricity or water, and what electricity she did have, she obtained illegally from her neighbors. She is a 29 year long drug addict, and was trying to get off of them, but was down to taking two doses a day of whatever it is she takes. She tried getting fully of the drugs, but would go insane every time she tried it. She said she truly lived like a homeless person sometimes; she wore her clothes for 10 days then threw them away and got new ones. She does this because she dose not and cannot take a bath. Her story was very hard to hear. Her sons did not turn out very well at all, but her daughter [ we will call her Ellen] was the only one that did turn out well, because of being at the Girls' Protection home. She loved the fact that the Girls' Protection Home had helped Ellen. She described it this way: She saw so much light around Ellen, but she felt like she was still in the dark and could not get to the light.We asked her if we could pray for her, and she asked if we could pray for a miracle! Pray that she could be fully healed from the drugs! That was SO amazing to hear! It was very humbling to hear her story and see in what condition she lived in. I smiled at her at one point and she told me I had a beautiful smile, I almost cried!! I definitely teared up! She was also so happy and overjoyed to see so many people in her home at one time. She hardly has visitors and she was happy to have us!
After we got back from the home visit, we had lunch, then the whole team piled back into the bus and traveled to a grocery story type place called "Exito." We bought all of our coffee and chocolate there. I bought so much for family and friends, it was ridiculous! Then we went back to our bus where we said goodbye to Jason, our translator! It was sad and hard to say goodbye to another team member. Then we got back into the bus and began our long journey home. Unfortunately, on the way home, we got "lost" and ended up back at the Girls' Protection Home. We had one hour with the girls. Just one. It was the most amazing hour with our girls we had fell in love with at the beginning of the week. I held on to that hour for all that it was worth. After an hour we had to pull each of ourselves way from the girls and climb slowly back into the bus. The parting was so, so hard. It is still one of the hardest memories of the week and the hardest thing to do. To leave those girls, to slowly watch their faces fade away in the distance, to say goodbye. My heart still aches writing those words and remembering back to that time. I spent one hour with those girls laughing, playing, chasing, loving and hugging, and talking with them. The parting was so hard. I sat with two of my closest sisters in the bus and cried!!! Cried the whole way home.
I left my heart there and elsewhere in Colombia. We did not sleep that Friday night, especially since we had to leave for the airport at 3 am on Saturday. We stayed up all night spending time talking and laughing and being goofy. Sharing the last few hours together and sharing the time and the closeness we had all shared over the week. Even one of the waiters, who served us breakfast and dinner, stayed up with us and played cards and talked. At about 2:30 am, we packed the bus with all of our bags and then packed ourselves in and headed to the airport. We had to say goodbye to another team member, Frank. That was really hard. Frank was an inspiration to me this past week and I did not want to say goodbye to him. But we had to. I nearly cried. Oscar would be the last one we would have to say goodbye to. Part of me wished we had said goodbye to everyone at one time. It was hard to say goodbye to each person each day; like pulling a band-aid off. We got to the airport, checked in, and went up stairs to go through security. We stopped before entering the security line, said goodbye to Oscar, another person who was a big inspiration to me that week. Then we went through security, etc. then were on the plane, flying back to the States. Goodbye Colombia, goodbye to so many that I now love and am leaving, goodbye to my heart."
And thus is the ending of the mission trip. I know this last one may have been hard to read, but I hope all of my blog posts of my journey this past week has given you all a peek into what happened in Bogota, Colombia. I wish you all well. Please leave a comment, if you so desire.
Blessings.
P.S. Thank you to all who encouraged me, uplifted me, helped me, supported me, and prayed for me on my trip. I love you all!
Warning: This post is probably the hardest to write and thus it may be the hardest to read.
Journal Entry:
July 6, 2012
"Today was the last day of missions! I was and still am so sad. I wish we could stay longer and work with the children. I want to come here and work with the children, to teach them Jesus and English, to learn there language, to love the children there, to show them how much God loves them. To be God's hands and His feet. A song I thought of today has the refrains, "break my heart, Lord, for what breaks Yours." That is what I felt like God was doing today - showing me how He feels about their orphans and protected girls. It is heart breaking, heart crushing, and pulls your heart out while tearing it in half. My heart was definitely ripped out and left in Colombia in so many ways. Some ways may be not as obvious as others or will not be revealed till later, but my heart is no longer here in Texas where my WHOLE family is, but in Colombia. So many emotions flood me throughout the day from remorse to joy to ecstasy to sadness to longing to heart break to I WANT TO STAY IN COLOMBIA!!!!
Today we left early as usual, we had a long drive again and finally arrived at the after school program that we visited on Tuesday. We stopped there for just a little bit to pick up some people, then we piled back into the bus again. We were told we were visiting the Bronches, the worst part of town. It was littered with trash, had a whole block where the drug lords could sell their drugs, and at least four blocks where prostitutes did business. We drove down the street at 11 am and they were already out there selling themselves. It was sooo sad! :( It was very hard to see and hard to realize how fallen this part of town was. It was rank with despair and anguish.
We then went back and split into two groups again and went on home visits. My group ended up going to a home of one of the girls who used to be in the girl protection home and now works there! Well, her mom lives up by the school we visited on Thursday. Her house is just put together by brick and mud, it looked like. There was no furniture in all the rooms, but one, and even in that room, there was hardly anything. The house smelled awful, but she lived there and had been living there for five years. Her story was sooo hard to hear, and even some of it was not even translated to us, because it was very hard. She had no electricity or water, and what electricity she did have, she obtained illegally from her neighbors. She is a 29 year long drug addict, and was trying to get off of them, but was down to taking two doses a day of whatever it is she takes. She tried getting fully of the drugs, but would go insane every time she tried it. She said she truly lived like a homeless person sometimes; she wore her clothes for 10 days then threw them away and got new ones. She does this because she dose not and cannot take a bath. Her story was very hard to hear. Her sons did not turn out very well at all, but her daughter [ we will call her Ellen] was the only one that did turn out well, because of being at the Girls' Protection home. She loved the fact that the Girls' Protection Home had helped Ellen. She described it this way: She saw so much light around Ellen, but she felt like she was still in the dark and could not get to the light.We asked her if we could pray for her, and she asked if we could pray for a miracle! Pray that she could be fully healed from the drugs! That was SO amazing to hear! It was very humbling to hear her story and see in what condition she lived in. I smiled at her at one point and she told me I had a beautiful smile, I almost cried!! I definitely teared up! She was also so happy and overjoyed to see so many people in her home at one time. She hardly has visitors and she was happy to have us!
After we got back from the home visit, we had lunch, then the whole team piled back into the bus and traveled to a grocery story type place called "Exito." We bought all of our coffee and chocolate there. I bought so much for family and friends, it was ridiculous! Then we went back to our bus where we said goodbye to Jason, our translator! It was sad and hard to say goodbye to another team member. Then we got back into the bus and began our long journey home. Unfortunately, on the way home, we got "lost" and ended up back at the Girls' Protection Home. We had one hour with the girls. Just one. It was the most amazing hour with our girls we had fell in love with at the beginning of the week. I held on to that hour for all that it was worth. After an hour we had to pull each of ourselves way from the girls and climb slowly back into the bus. The parting was so, so hard. It is still one of the hardest memories of the week and the hardest thing to do. To leave those girls, to slowly watch their faces fade away in the distance, to say goodbye. My heart still aches writing those words and remembering back to that time. I spent one hour with those girls laughing, playing, chasing, loving and hugging, and talking with them. The parting was so hard. I sat with two of my closest sisters in the bus and cried!!! Cried the whole way home.
I left my heart there and elsewhere in Colombia. We did not sleep that Friday night, especially since we had to leave for the airport at 3 am on Saturday. We stayed up all night spending time talking and laughing and being goofy. Sharing the last few hours together and sharing the time and the closeness we had all shared over the week. Even one of the waiters, who served us breakfast and dinner, stayed up with us and played cards and talked. At about 2:30 am, we packed the bus with all of our bags and then packed ourselves in and headed to the airport. We had to say goodbye to another team member, Frank. That was really hard. Frank was an inspiration to me this past week and I did not want to say goodbye to him. But we had to. I nearly cried. Oscar would be the last one we would have to say goodbye to. Part of me wished we had said goodbye to everyone at one time. It was hard to say goodbye to each person each day; like pulling a band-aid off. We got to the airport, checked in, and went up stairs to go through security. We stopped before entering the security line, said goodbye to Oscar, another person who was a big inspiration to me that week. Then we went through security, etc. then were on the plane, flying back to the States. Goodbye Colombia, goodbye to so many that I now love and am leaving, goodbye to my heart."
And thus is the ending of the mission trip. I know this last one may have been hard to read, but I hope all of my blog posts of my journey this past week has given you all a peek into what happened in Bogota, Colombia. I wish you all well. Please leave a comment, if you so desire.
Blessings.
P.S. Thank you to all who encouraged me, uplifted me, helped me, supported me, and prayed for me on my trip. I love you all!
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